One Mistake
by holmesian13
Summary: The one mistake that James T. Kirk made with his first officer that turned out for the better. This is Spirk so don't like, don't read.


In the conference room, Spock had been giving his report on the possibility of an extended shore leave on the new planet they had come across for approximately 14.5 minutes. He had found the planet mostly liken to Earth except for one property: the planets heightened gravity could cause serious damage to any human life form that resided for an extended period of time.

"Therefore, I find it highly illogical that we would send any one person down to the planet's surface due to the high risk that th-" Spock stopped mid-sentence with a sharp intake of breath, the captain, who had been sitting on his left at the conference table, had touched his hand. It was not just the fact that Jim had touched his hand, but that he had unknowingly performed the Vulcan Kiss on the first officer. Spock felt his entire body tense and become rigid, and with that tenseness also came the slight trembling of body parts that most humans associated with being prepared to strike.

The entire room immediately looked to him hearing the sharp intake of breath that had come from the first officer and tried to see what had cause him to halt so quickly in his speech, to their surprise the sight that greeted their eyes was that of a completely tense half-Vulcan, who looked to be on the brink of killing something. The room stared at the motionless first officer, and even the captain had an extremely uncontrolled look of surprise on his face.

The room remained silent until the silence was broken by the most unlikely of candidates: Dr. McCoy. The doctor, who had been sitting just across from Spock and Kirk at the other end of the table, turned to look at Mr. Spock, who had not relaxed even in the slightest, and began somewhat hesitantly:

"Mr. Spock…. Are you gonna finish?" McCoy asked, looking more than a little confused at the sudden change in behavior that had taken over the Vulcan.

At being addressed directly, Spock looked up to the doctor, ever maintaining his rigidity, and minutely shook his head before standing abruptly and walking out of the room.

Spock's sudden exit stirred the room to life, but no one could seem to do more than to gape at the place where he had exited. Suddenly there was a ridiculous outburst of talking voices all at once, and it took Kirk almost yelling at the top of his voice to quiet the room.

"Well… Erm.." He started when he had gotten the full attention of at least most of the occupants of the conference room, "It has been established that there will be no shore leave on this planet and we'll continue on our course as was previously planned. You are dismissed."

It took a few seconds for all of the people to realize that they had been dismissed and a few seconds more until the cooperated with said order. Kirk sat back down in the chair he had been occupying during the meeting while everyone else filed out, and found himself staring at the chair his first officer had been occupying. Kirk then felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to find Bones standing behind him with a slightly bewildered look on his face.

"What the hell do you think that was?" Bones asked.

"I… I don't know. One minute he was fine, but when I-" Kirk cut himself off.

"When you what?" Bones questioned, a scowl beginning to take precedent on his face.

"I touched his hand to tell him that he was going on too long. It's what I normally do at these things, you know that, so I… I don't know what must have been different this time…" Jim finished rather lamely; he was sincerely worried that something had happened to his first that he might have caused.

At Jim's explanation Bones' face went from a scowl back to pure bewilderment. He paused for moment thinking about what might have happened to the Vulcan that would trigger such a reaction, not just any reaction mind you, an emotional reaction.

"Whatever happened, he must have been severely affected to show such an emotional response to everyone in the room. You know his mask never slips." Bones remarked to the Captain.

"It does slip sometimes…" Kirk argued back.

"You're right and you know you're right, but think on those total of what… TWO times! What was the first one?"

Kirk hesitated, thinking back, "The first time was when-"he flinched remembering this memory very clearly, "When I accused him of… not loving his mother." It always hurt Kirk to think about what he had to say to that day, not just because he had recently begun to have some rather unbrotherly emotions towards the Half-Vulcan, but because he had known how much it actually hurt the other.

"And the second time?" Bones prompted.

"The second time was when… I died."

"Exactly! Those were some very serious things that happened, granted, today he didn't try to rip anyone's head off, but he sure looked like he'd like to." Bones shook his head, exasperated at the complexity of the alien.

"The more I think of the way he looked… the more I think that that wasn't what he was thinking… I mean-"Jim said, beginning to explain himself to his confused looking friend, "What I mean is that I don't think he was angry, more… taken off guard if you know what I mean."

"Look, Jim, I know what you're getting at, and I know you're the one who knows him best, but I can't really say what his emotions were. If you really wanna know, you're gonna have to ask him yourself."

He contemplated this for a moment before sighing realizing that Bones was right.

"But… what if I did something, what if I caused that?" he looked somewhat desperately to his friend, Bones was the only one, besides maybe Lt. Uhura, that knew how he felt for his first officer.

His friend sighed, "Well, was there anything you did differently when you touched his hand?"

"Well I…" he paused, trying to think of what exactly he did, "I had a pen in my hand, and only my index finger and my middle finger were free so I guess I just touched his hand with those two. But I don't see how that would make such a difference!"

Bones pondered this answer, "Well, I guess you did do something differently, but I can't imagine something like that causing him to react to weirdly, I mean have you ever seen him do something even remotely like that?" Bones ended with a half-hearted laugh, causing Kirk to chuckle a little.

"Well, shall we go down to mess and see if said first officer is there?"

"I suppose." Kirks attitude was lifted slightly at the thought of figuring out what had happened.

They made their way down to the mess hall in silence, both wondering about what had happened in the conference room. They got there a few minutes early, but were surprised to see the table they usually sat at occupied by all of their friends already. Kirk glanced at the clock and noted that it was five minutes until Spock normally arrived for his meal.

As Kirk and Bones sat down they were bombarded by so many questions at once that they could not even discern one of them.

"Guys, guys. Alright! That's enough!" Kirk almost shouted, finally causing them to calm down, "What is it?" they all began to talk at once again.

"Shut up and one at a time, goddammit!" Bones intervened.

They all glanced around the table at each other. Uhura was the first one to speak.

"Captain we heard.. that Mr. Spock… um.. Kind of-"Kirk cut her off.

"Oh so you heard about that." Jim looked around the table and saw each of his friends nodding.

"Ve vonted to know if eet vas troo?" Checov asked.

"Yes, it is true… Depending on what you heard."

"Well, captain," Sulu began, "We heard that Mr. Spock was giving his report when he stopped and went kinda rigid.." Sulu trailed of lamely.

"Yes captain, we also heard someone comment that he looked as though he were about to hurt something." Scotty added.

"Well," Bones began, "It seems as though you've got the gist of what happened."

"But why! Why did it happen! He's never lost control like that before without proper reason." Uhura asked.

"If I knew the answer to that Lt. I would have told you by now." Jim snapped, he looked up, "I'm sorry Uhura, but I know just about as much as you do when It comes to our Vulcan friend." He twisted around to see the clock and noticed that three minutes had passed the time that Spock showed up for meal. "He's late." He muttered more to himself than to his friends.

"Vat vas that Keptin?" Checov asked having clearly heard him say something.

Kirk sighed, "Spock, he normally comes to meal before this… but he's late. He's never late."

At this the rest of his friends twisted around in their seats to glance at the clock, all of them being familiar with the first officer's habits. One by one, as they turned around they looked at Kirk, surprised that Spock could be so shaken up by something that he would forget about, or more likely skip, a meal.

After exiting the conference room, Spock headed straight to his quarters. As he walked he began to relax to his normal state of rigidity. He felt ashamed of himself for letting that show, he should have just kept on talking, acted like nothing happened, but it was Kirk that had done it, Kirk that had kissed him, though he had not known it. The kiss had taken him by surprise and he felt ashamed of it. He must have created such a scene in the conference room, all because of one James Tiberius Kirk. It seemed that that human was always the reason for his feelings showing. This would now be the third time he had slipped; all three times Jim had triggered it. This was one problem that logic could not solve. Spock had no idea why this particular human had such an effect on himself.

He had gone a little way down the hallway when he heard an enormous outburst of talking from the conference room. This caused him to speed up on his way to his quarters. Spock most certainly did not wish to be spoken to until he had had a chance to meditate and calm himself. By speeding up he reaches his room 2.36 minutes earlier, and proceeded to sit himself in the middle of the room and meditate. By the time he was calmed down all the way, and locked all of his emotions back to where they belonged he had missed the meal. Though he did not need to eat three times a day Jim and the doctor forced him to eat with them.

The alpha shift was just about to start, so Spock got up and put his uniform back on and headed up to the bridge. As he walked, he sensed that just about everyone he passed stopped and stared. He allowed himself no emotion of any kind at the realization that news of his slip up had spread to the rest of the ship. He had ensured that his emotions stayed locked up no matter what reactions he got today. It was not difficult to keep his shields up, seeing how no one seemed to wish to talk to him, most just stared. As he entered the bridge everyone looked over to him but he took no notice.

"Permission to come aboard, Captain?" Spock asked.

Kirk spun around in his chair to be greeted with the sight of the Vulcan, just as collected as ever, taking no notice of everyone that stared at him, Spock looked as though nothing had happened.

"Permission granted, Commander." Kirk watched as the Vulcan proceeded to the science station, taking no heed to the eyes that followed him, sat down, and began his normal work. Kirk was so surprised at the Vulcans attitude that he continued to stare even after all of the others had stopped. How could he be so collected when only an hour ago he had looked so…

"Is there something I can do for you, Captain?" Spock had met Kirks stare with no sign of emotion whatsoever in his face.

"No, No commander. " Kirk felt awkward that he had been caught staring, but proceeded on with his normal duties, all the while thinking of a certain Vulcan.

When Alpha shift ended Kirk glanced over to his first officers' chair only to find it had already been vacated. He spun some more only to see the Vulcans retreating back as he stepped into the elevator.

"God Bones, I just don't understand it!" Just after Alpha shift he had made his way to the CMO's office, "I mean it was like nothing happened, he showed up there like everything was normal. He didn't even bat an eye at everyone on the bridge staring at him. It's inhuman!"

"Well, Jim, seeing as how he isn't exactly human, we may have found the solution." Bones remarked with a slight quirk of the lips to show his amusement. At the murderous look he was receiving from his friend he sighed and continued on. "You can't expect him to react like a human if he has all of those emotions so carefully guarded to the extent that they barely exist at all!"

"I know Bones, I know. It's just sometimes…" Jim trailed off.

"I know Jim, it's how we all feel."

Directly after Alpha shift Spock had immediately gotten up from his station to avoid being questioned by the captain, or anyone else for that matter. He made straight to his quarters to meditate a little more before heading to meal, seeing as how the Captain and the doctor would not be very pleased if he missed two meals in one day.

He redressed, feeling as though he had his emotions completely under his own control once more. He headed back down to the mess and sensed that less pairs of eyes were following him than had earlier. He walked without acknowledging anyone and got his food and sat down in his usual spot next to the captain. He looked up to see his friends looking at him oddly, he wondered if this was still from his slip up earlier on in the day. He broke eye contact and acted as though they were doing nothing out of the ordinary. He turned his attention back to his food and began to eat. Slowly his companions did the same until everyone but Jim was eating or chatting amiably.

Finally Jim turned to his first officer fully facing the Vulcan, "All right Spock, what was that about?" At Jims question all attention turned back to Spock, but he took no notice.

"To what are you referring, Captain?"

"You know what I'm talking about Spock. And how many times do I have to tell you this: When we're not on duty, call me Jim."

"You will have to clarify that statement, Jim" By now the entire table was watching the two with rapt attention.

"I'm talking about," He began slowly, "About what happened in the conference room earlier today." Spock remained silent, and as the silence stretched Jim grew more and more agitated at his first's lack of response. "God Spock, we're your friends! If you would just tell us, it would make this _so_ much easier!" He finally exclaimed.

Spock slowly turned towards the agitated man with no trace of emotion in his diction or his eyes, "It would, by no means, make this 'easier'." The Vulcan finally responded, standing up as he did so. Spock, having barely touches his food, turned, left the table, and proceeded out the door of the mess.

Jim turned back in his seat to face his friends, all of which bore looks of astonishment akin to his own.

"What was that?" Bones finally asked no one in particular.

At Bones' comment the rest of the table stirred to life to look at Jim. Scotty was the first one to speak, "What did you do to him, Laddy?"

"I-I don't really know…" Jim answered lamely.

"C'mon ye must'ave done something."

Everyone's eyes turned to the Captain as he recounted everything that had happened in the conference room up until Spock's abrupt departure. Nearly everyone at the table looked just as bewildered as before, except for Uhura who seemed to have a look of slight understanding on her face. As Jim looked around at his companions he saw the Lt's look.

"Uhura, what is it?" he asked, "Did I do something?"

"Ummm… Jim I-I think you might have but I'm not sure…"

"What is it? Tell me!" Jim was worried that he might have done something extremely wrong, and Uhura's reaction wasn't quite reassuring.

"Well… when we were dating Spock told me about this thing…. It was something in Vulcan culture… that was very private and intimate…"

"Uhura! Get to the point! I don't think I can stand to hear much more of this!" Jim exclaimed, his patience wearing dangerously thin.

"But… I'm not sure. I'll have to check." She said as she stood up and rushed out of the mess hall after Spock.

Jim groaned and let his head hit the table, narrowly missing his plate of food.

Spock had left the table, feeling his patience wearing thin, so , not wanting to lose control again, he made his way back to his quarters without touching his food. When he arrived at his room he began to analyze what had happened in the mess. He should not have brushed off the captain's question; he need not have caused a scene. Spock felt ashamed again, letting his emotion seep through again, if he had answered the question when asked this would not have been prolonged.

There was a knock at the door, he stood from his place on the ground and went to answer it. To his relief it was just Uhura and not the captain that had followed him here from the mess hall.

"Yes, Lt. Uhura, what do you wish to speak about?" Spock asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Spock… Did Jim kiss you?" Uhura's blunt question took him by surprise but he only hesitated for half a second before responding.

"Yes."

"Spock, why didn't you just tell him? He would have understood!"

"I do not know Nyota; if I did I would tell you."

"Oh, Spock, can I come in?" Though Spock did not normally allow people into his rooms he stepped aside to allow passage.

Uhura strode into the room and took a seat, motioning for him to sit also. Spock followed her and sat rigidly in his chair.

"Spock," she began quietly, "Why didn't you tell him?"

"I have already answered that question, though for your benefit I will repeat it: I do not know."

"I think you do Spock, just… just think about it for a few minutes alright, and- and let yourself feel too. It might help." Spock did not feel comfortable with letting his emotions free, but he trusted Nyotas' judgment so he did. All of a sudden a maelstrom of emotion hit the Vulcan, taking him by surprise. He quickly put his barriers up again.

"Well?" Uhura asked, obviously sensing her friends momentary lapse of control, "Here, I'll help, how did it feel when he kissed you?"

This question made Spock think, remembering when the captain's fingers had brushed his hands, "It felt… Pleasant."

This answer seemed to be what Uhura was hoping for because she let out a big smile, Spock lifted one eyebrow in response before Nyota continued.

"And how do you feel when Jim is around?"

"I do not understand the question."

"Come on Spock, if Jim was in danger what would you do?"

"He is not in danger."

"Work with me here!" she exclaimed, starting to get a little agitated.

"I would save the captain." Was his reply.

"But isn't that illogical?" she countered.

Spock thought about that last query for a moment before responding, "Where the captain is concerned it is difficult to think logically."

Uhura let out a great laugh and Spock raised a questioning eyebrow at this illogical human response to his answer. Uhura caught sight of Spocks face and stopped laughing so she could explain.

"Spock, do you know what love is?"

"Yes it is an intense feeling of deep affection." He stopped and wondered why she would ask such a question of him.

"Spock, don't you get it! You love our captain!" she laughed again. Spock did not understand the laughter. He knew she was right, he felt for the captain, deeply, he realized this now, but he did not find this realization the least bit amusing, in fact he found it quite alarming.

"Uhura I do not understand your amusement at this problem." He dead panned, her smile and laughter gone in a second.

She continued very seriously, "Spock, it's not a problem; you are part human no matter how much you wish to deny it. It isn't bad that you feel this way for our captain. It's very good, you are still Vulcan if you feel. Spock, I'm fairly sure he feels the same way too." At this last comment Spock raised both eyebrows, surprised, if the captain feels the way he did.

"Anyway, Spock, I have to get going, I'll let you think about that for a while. See you later." Spock merely nodded in return. He needed to think about how to approach this new found problem.

Jim was furious that Uhura had just walked off like that, but he was anxious about what she would have to say when she returned. Would Spock be angry with him for what he had done? What _had_ he even done!?

Uhura returned after only 25 minutes leaving 30 more minutes for Jim to get his explanation. When she sat down all of the occupants of the table looked expectantly to her for answers, only she seemed to be in such a good mood that she even smiled and waved away the expectant looks and the scowl Jim shot her way.

"Well, Uhura since you're obviously not going to tell me what the fuck I did! Please enlighten us!" Jim asked, definitely losing his patience with her.

"You kissed him."

Jim had just taken a sip of water and choked rather ungracefully, but he wasn't the only one to do so. Bones had spat out the food he had just put into his mouth and gaped at the Lt.

"He did not!" Bones objected, "I was there the whole time I-"Uhura cut him off with a laugh.

"No, I just went and spoke with Spock to… Clarify the hunch I had earlier. When you touched his hand with these two fingers," she held up her index finger and middle finger, "It is known as the Vulcan Kiss." She finished leaving the entire table staring at her.

"The why are you so fucking happy! I just kissed my first officer and you're laughing! No wonder he reacted like that, I would have too! Oh god!" Jim put his head in his hands. "Is he angry with me?" he asked, but having gotten no response he looked up to a rather guilty looking Uhura. "No, No you- you didn't… You did!" sudden realization hit his face as Uhura looked at him apologetically, then he said in a whisper that only the rest of the table would be able to hear, "You did not fucking tell him that I'm in love with him?!"

This statement caused the most choking so far, Checov, Scotty, and Sulu stared at the Captain with utmost surprise, but Bones just sighed.

"If it's any consolation, he isn't angry with you." Uhura said apologetically.

"Any consolation! You just- wait… He isn't angry with me?" Kirk asked, sounding almost pathetically hopeful.

"No, he isn't. Quite the opposite really. Or… from what I gather."

"Wait… The opposite… does that mean that he-"

"Kirk, I don't exactly know, nor will you unless you go and ask him yourself." With that she left the table.

"Uhura-"he shouted after her. He gave up when he saw that she wasn't returning and turned back to his friends, all of whom, with the exception of Bones were staring at him with their mouths open.

Kirk looked at each of them and realized that he wasn't getting out of this, "Fine! Yes I-I love the stupid emotionless Vulcan! There I said it!"

Scotty was the first to respond this time, "Jim, I wish you all the luck in the world Laddy, you're gonna need it with that one!" This remark was met with laughter all around.

Sulu then turned to Jim, "I don't really know what you're still doing_ here_ when you could be winning over a certain Half-Vulcan at the moment." He said with a grin. This comment caused Jim to blush, making the others laugh again.

"Stuff it Sulu, but I suppose you're right… I guess I'll just… go now." He said standing up and making his way to Spocks Quarters.

Jim was nervously wringing his hands the whole walk, and he had to consciously make his hands stop shaking as he reached to knock on the door. He heard motion behind the door as it slid open, revealing the Vulcan that had so completely occupied his mind.

"Hi-Hello Spock… I-I need to speak with you for a moment. If that's alright." Jim asked nervously trying to pull himself together.

"Of course Captain-Jim, is there anything wrong?" Spock asked as he moved aside to allow Jim entry into his quarters. Jim had no reason to feel nervous, he had been in the Vulcans rooms before, they had played chess before in here, but this time the stakes were higher than a simple game of chess.

"Spock… Lt. Uhura has notified me of what I had inherently done in the conference room, and I would like to apologize. I see now the reason for your reaction and I wish you would forgive me." Jim let all of this out in a rush not willing himself to look his first officer in the eye. As the silence stretched, however, Jim forced himself to look up and saw that there was a strange look in the Vulcans eyes that he had never seen before. Jim liked that and before he could stop himself he moved forward, wrapped his arms around the Vulcans neck and pressed his lips against Spocks.

Jim was alarmed, when their lips met he felt Spock's entire body tense up as it had done before in the conference room. There was not movement of Spocks own lips against his own and panic flooded him. Jim stepped back from the man that was almost visibly shaking before him with his eyes closed.

"Spock…" He whispered, "I'm sorry… I'll just- go now." Jim turned to head out of the door he had come in moments before, as he took a step forward to leave when his arm was caught by a vice like grip. He turned back to see Spock still slightly shaking and still with his eyes closed.

"Jim, I do not wish for you to go, nor is there any need for you to apologize." Spock opened his eyes revealing to Jim the same look from a moment ago, but intensified tenfold.

Spock took a step closer to Jim, hesitating before putting both of his hands onto Jims forearms and gently pressing their lips together. Jim responded almost instantly, pressing his lips harder to Spocks. This couldn't be real, and yet, here he was kissing a Vulcan who was most certainly kissing him back, albeit gently, but it still counted.

When he pulled away Spock still had that look in his eye and Jim could now identify it: affection. It looked so foreign in his first officer's face that Jim had to laugh. Spock raised one questioning eyebrow at Jims laugh almost disapprovingly.

"I do not find the amusement in this situation, Jim."

"Spock, I love you and… and…Hell, we make one strange couple."

"I concur, our pairing is _quite_ illogical, but I find I do not care." Spock pulled Jim into a hug, and well, it was… there was no other word for it, awkward, "I love you too Jim." Spock whispered so quietly that Jim almost couldn't hear.


End file.
